markofthewise | Sokka the 78th

Entry tags:

[action],
[written]

Sokka the 78th - [Action/Written]

[After ditching Ed in the tunnels, Sokka has had some thinking to do. He's lost Suki and now he's lost Edward. His relationship with other people has seemed strained too. When it comes down to it, he doesn't particularly feel bad about this, but he is worried about ending up alone. Being alone is bad. But then, so is the life he had before. Well, if the journals are good for one thing, it's for sorting out dilemmas without giving yourself away. So he heads to the journal, disguises his handwriting, and asks:]

[Written (Disguised)]

If you were changed in a way that made you happier, but pushed other people away, would it be worth staying that way? I mean, it's not worth it to make yourself miserable just for the sake of other people, right? That'd be ridiculous.

[Yeah. Totally ridiculous. That was stupid of him to even ask. He stares at the page, shakes his head, and pushes it away. Later he'll reply to it, but for now, he decides to do work instead of wallowing in pointless contemplation.

For people who might want Sokka in person, he's up to his usual routine.]

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[She won't press, given that answer.]

Most people here seem to think things should just be how they want them. They don't care about someone else's opinion, just theirs. But they act like they're so much better than someone who'll just say they like things their way.

[Sokka is self aware to realize that he's probably the same was as the people she's talking about. Hm.]

You get that a lot?

All the time. I like my way of life. Other people don't want to live it? Great, fine, I don't care. But I always get someone telling me I should live to their standards, think about right and wrong like they do.

My way's barbaric, according to them. Theirs is the only right way. Even if they talk about choosing -- they mean me choosing to be like them, not actually choosing what I want.

That's rough, buddy.

I'm used to it. I'm okay with people not liking me.

Well, I'm sort of used to people liking me. It has its perks.

Then they should like you enough -- if they really do like you -- to get that... whatever's up makes you happier. They should want that, right?

They should. But they're too hung up on their own stuff. [Like Suki.]

Shows you where their priorities really are. That's the thing about most people here, and why they don't like me. At least, as far as I see it.

I admit it -- I'm looking out for me. I'll help someone out if it doesn't do me any harm. But choosing between me and someone else? It's me every time. And I say it. Them? They claim they're all about other people. Until someone doesn't fit their ideas. And even the people who do? Backs to the wall, I bet at least most of them would save themselves. Sure, torture themselves about it later. But in the moment? All for themselves.

[It's easy to write it all down, to lay it out. Even if he doesn't read it? He can't actually interrupt her. And that's good. Just to keep writing.]

That's how I was before. I got myself killed acting like that. I got nothing out of it.

Which just goes to show how pointless that way of thinking is.

[You know what, he likes her. He's going to forgo this anonymity.]

It's nice to know someone around here has some sense.

[She actually lets herself smile a bit. Clove won't let herself like him too much, let herself get too comfortable. But, it's not bad. Having someone not telling her she should be something else.]

It's how I was always taught. You look after yourself. Other people? Only if it doesn't inconvenience you.

It's not how I was taught. But the way I was taught doesn't work. Not in this world, anyway.

And everyone attacks you if you dare say so.

Are we talking literally and metaphorically?

Metaphorically, here. It'd be easier to deal with if they'd just physically attack.

I dunno, I think I can handle the metaphorical attacking better. I know way too many people with wacky powers.

I don't know. It feels like I'm back at the Capitol. Smile and play nice and just wait for someone to stick a knife in your back.

I like knowing who my enemies are.

Well at least we know the cultists are our enemies. If anything, you've gotta give them credit for honesty.

Why I like the drafts. It makes things simpler.

You're the one who was making a big deal about wishing the Malnosso would send us to do more stuff, right?

It was a bad night.

[Understatement.]

But yeah. I want to be out there. I'd prefer not coming back here. Fight after fight, I'll take it. But... that wasn't a good night.

I've had my bad nights. Though I'm not too crazy about fighting all the time. It's all work and I don't get compensated for it.

So what happened?

Fighting's what I'm good at. So, for me? It's payment enough for me. And it's repaying the Malnosso for the food, shelter, that kind of thing.

As for what happened... Just. [She pauses for awhile. She doesn't talk about this kind of thing. It's... not who she is. It's weakness.] Some stuff on the draft kind of threw me. Just... reminded me. You know? Of who I am and what I need to do.

And I didn't react to it too great. So, I went off a little.

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