markofthewise | Sokka the 78th

[After ditching Ed in the tunnels, Sokka has had some thinking to do. He's lost Suki and now he's lost Edward. His relationship with other people has seemed strained too. When it comes down to it, he doesn't particularly feel bad about this, but he is worried about ending up alone. Being alone is bad. But then, so is the life he had before. Well, if the journals are good for one thing, it's for sorting out dilemmas without giving yourself away. So he heads to the journal, disguises his handwriting, and asks:]

[Written (Disguised)]

If you were changed in a way that made you happier, but pushed other people away, would it be worth staying that way? I mean, it's not worth it to make yourself miserable just for the sake of other people, right? That'd be ridiculous.

[Yeah. Totally ridiculous. That was stupid of him to even ask. He stares at the page, shakes his head, and pushes it away. Later he'll reply to it, but for now, he decides to do work instead of wallowing in pointless contemplation.

For people who might want Sokka in person, he's up to his usual routine.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can only sell that for a couple weeks. If even. Managed it when I first came, but... by the time I was in combat first? That was gone. I don't think I could convince people of it now if I tried. Burned those bridges.

You know, I think I get what you mean. My new technique for fighting is drawing a lot of criticism.

Where I'm from... you play nice for a week, then you fight. You never face any of them again. So it doesn't matter, once the fighting starts. You can be as vicious as you need to be. As long as you live.

Here... it's different. I wasn't expecting it, so I couldn't plan it and play it right.

Yeeeah I think the whole coming back from the dead thing? It throws most people for a loop.

And just... having to be with the people who've seen you fight. It's different than where I'm from. Probably too late for me to make them see me as anything else.

But... That's okay with me. I don't need them, not really.

You know, just to be up front, I really don't actually care either way. But you should probably know that the way you keep justifying yourself here? Kinda sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than me.

[Clove pauses at that.]

Yeah. [It takes time for the admission to come out.] Yeah, it does.

[She's too used to the defense. Too used to having to stand firmly about what she believes and what she does. Someone who didn't seem to judge? Let her ask herself the questions she furiously blocked with other people.

And it had been nice to trust Katniss. To feel like there was someone to rely on.

Which, she knows, means he's totally right. She's not trying to convince him. She's not even trying to explain herself. She's trying to convince herself she is as fine with her life as she always insists she is. As she always has to prove she is.]

[This is probably a significant moment where the two of them share something. He can think of nothing worse.]

Just do what you want to do and don't bother justifying it. You'll be happier that way.