markofthewise | Sokka the 76th

It was an adjustment. He didn't much like that he was now single. He hated even more the circumstances that led to it. But after this long, Sokka owed it to himself to put himself back together and make some sense of his life. Or at the very least, try and be a little upright for the sake of his friends. After burying himself in work for the past few weeks, it was time for some sunshine. As sunny as it could be in January, anyway. So while he's out, he's not exactly chipper. But he's trying his best to not look as somber and cranky as he has the last few weeks.

Today, he's out with Foo Foo Cuddly Poops, the tiny Saber Toothed Moose-Lion cub he received for Christmas. The little beast is getting a bit bigger now. His little horns are protruding more and he was growing consistently. The little thing could fit on Sokka's head before, but not anymore. He was just shy of being the size of a beagle now. He'd already been bigger than Sokka remembered when he received him on Christmas. Having seen the mother, he knew Foo Foo would only get bigger. He also couldn't leave Foo Foo at home, since his teeth were coming in. Which meant he was chewing up anything he could get his paws on. Not to mention he was hardly housebroken. So this is why today, Sokka was going to the grocery to explore the diet of moose-lions so he could carry it all back in bulk. Which is why he also had an unseemly large bag. He suspected, before long, he'd have to start using a wheel barrow.

At the grocery store, the two explore a variety of foods they both like. Fruits and meat. It seems Foo Foo has a similar appetite to Sokka.

While he's off in one corner letting Foo Foo got to town on a basket of apples, he hits up the journals.

[Voice]

So. How exactly do you teach an animal not only to stop chewing on your valuables, but also to do their business outside? You know, without actually keeping them outside all the time. [A pause as he looks over at Foo Foo.] At least while they'll still fit in the house.

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She shrugged. The weather was the last thing on her mind, but of course Sokka knew that. It was clear what he was trying to do, and she would try to be the same, but any word she had for him would come with a hint of bitterness. Still, she held this hatred for Sokka for breaking her heart.

"I guess. How are things at home?"

"Different. Empty." He missed having her there. He missed Katara. Heck, he even missed Zuko. "I heard you moved in with Sheena."

"Yeah. She, um... she's really nice." Not going to mention how her and Sheena met. "How's Ikki and Aang?" Because she was worried about them.

"It's been hard for them." With Katara. With him and Suki. Everything was happening at once. "They miss you." He paused as he looked at her again. "I miss you too."

She wanted to say she missed too. Say that she missed him, a lot. But she didn't.

"You should really stop lying to me." There was a hint of bitterness still in her voice.

He frowned. That stung and made him just a bit upset.

"That's not a lie, Suki. I don't know what you think about me now... but don't think that I don't care about you."

Why did she have to say that? She didn't want to fight with him, but she was still so bitter and so angry.

"I don't know what I think about you either." At least she admitted that. "But I am having a hard time trusting you right now."

"I know."

He'd been dwelling on his conversation with his sister. When he told her: Maybe you're not. But. You're made up of all the same pieces. Those are the parts that matter. To me.

It had been a moment where he realized how unfair he had been to Suki. To himself. To, well, everyone.

"I can't take that back. And I know apologizing isn't going to fix it." He took a breath. "But I don't want you to hate me either."

She crossed her arms over her chest, not speaking for awhile. Just standing there for a moment to try and think of what she wanted to say.

"I'm sorry, Sokka." As she spoke those words, her whole chest felt tight. "I do hate you. A lot, actually. But I still love you. Just as much."

It hurt to hear her say it. He knew he deserved it. He hated himself for it. but hearing her say it was worse than he thought it would be. But. She still loved him. That was something.

"I deserve that. But you don't deserve all... this. I thought I was protecting you, but I was just protecting myself. I thought that if we started over, it would be like forgetting everything that happened. I promised myself that I'd never do that." He shuffled his feet and sighed. "I'm not going to ask you to take me back. I will, eventually. But I have to figure these things out. I'm just sorry that it took hurting you to realize that. I just wanted you to know that."

In case... just in case she left again.

Looking at him was so difficult because she wanted him back. She wanted to be part of his life, and him to be part of her's.

But right now she wasn't going to cry. She wanted to, but she couldn't. Not in front of him. It wasn't fair that she still loved him so much, even though he just broke her heart.

"How can I even trust you anymore?"

"You can't." A half moment he hesitated. "Not yet. I'll prove to you that you can. There won't be any lies from now on. We always had each other's back before. It can happen again. You can count on me."

She wanted to just turn him away, but she couldn't She was so desperate to believe him that she nodded in return.

"Please don't let me down." Because she still loved him and wanted to be with him.

He recalled his conversation with Sheena. How she had lost Zelos before they could fix things. He could only imagine how he would feel to lose Suki before the air could be cleared between the two of them.

"I won't. Just. I don't want to drive you away. Even if you can't love me, I want us to be able to rely on each other."

Her eyes drifted to the ground. He really thought that she wouldn't be able to love him? The truth was that she couldn't stop loving him. They just couldn't be together. Not yet.

The only problem was that he did drive her away. "You really did hurt me, Sokka." A fact he probably already knew. "And I feel like I don't even belong here. How can I trust that people are actually okay with me being here and not remembering my past here if I can't even trust you?"

"I screwed up, Suki. I was stubborn and stupid. But I'm not everyone else."

"No one else can hurt me the way you did." Which was her reason to still trust everyone else. "And I'm going to be angry with you for awhile."

"I know. I deserve it." He sighed. "I'll leave you alone now."

What else was she supposed to say? Sure, she wanted him to stay, but at the same time she wanted to be as far away from him as possible. So instead of calling him back like she so wanted to, she just let him walk away.

"Okay. Um... bye." She turned away from him to leave as well. It was so awkward to leave him without a hug or a kiss, but that was their life now.

Much like her, he wanted to at least hug. But that was too much like trying to pretend it was all okay. So he gathered up his food and led Foo Foo away.

Sokka the 76th - [Action/Voice]

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