Sokka the 55th - [Action/Voice]

[markofthewise]

[This Lucetian has been returned from the Malnosso, after not too long a stay with them. He's kind of bruised up and is leaning on his left leg a bit much. But you'd never notice it from that kick in his step. With a big grin on his face, he's walking from the north end of the plaza on his way home, looking all around him at all the snow the recent snow storm left. And those icicles hanging on the trees! Beautiful! What a winter wonder land he's found!

And look, is that a stray squirrel in his path? Sokka will happily say hello to it until it runs away on twitch reflex. Oh well, that squirrel had important things to do! And that stray cat. And that deer. And that bird and- oh, he must be in the woods. Time to go back to the village. You know what? Despite not feeling all that well, after he gets to House 56 and informs his sister and girlfriend and that wonderful old chap from the Fire Nation he's home, he's got other places to visit. He has to let his friends know he's home. All his friends. Like his smithy buddies. His Straw Hat friends. People he's met randomly at the smithy when they go work orders. Xion, of course requires a visit. He doesn't exactly know where Frey lives these days, but darnit if he isn't going to work out and drop in on him too. He doesn't exactly feel bad about his argument with Haruhi. It was all a silly misunderstanding. So he'll just drop in on her too. And his teachers and, oh, did he ever find out about Regal's proposal? And then there's the pirate the slayer and other friends and... yeah, catching up with everybody is kind of an all day thing. He'll drag himself home that night.

Oh, but fortunately before he arrives at home, he does leave a voice message for everyone.]

Man, everyone says those Malnosso people are real jerks. I don't know what they're talking about. The dropped me off near town, gave me my clothes back - with all the holes I put in it stitched back, thank you very much, and were even nice enough to make sure I was clean shaven before dropped here. These are good people, am I right? Right? Right?

((ooc: If not completely obvious, the Malnosso have returned Sokka from his kidnapping lacking in ANY kind of negativity. There is no downside to ANYTHING. He is perpetually happy. He still, of course, loves his jokes and sarcasm. But he's happy, happy, happy. He's having a wonderful time! This will last until... well, however long it takes for Sokka's happiness to make me start vomiting.]

Comments

[Action]

[all7seas]

[He's just going to keep going.] Like that clear skin you skim off your gravy when it's been sitting in a cold place overnight--beneath which lie dark pits of congealed glutinous beef!

[Action]

[markofthewise]

... I'm not sure that makes any sense, Jack.

[It may be making him nauseous.]

[Action]

[all7seas]

Just saying, lad, that something's amiss. Can it be that you've turned into a poor devil like Happy McSlappy Slahafferson-Jones?

[Action]

[markofthewise]

Let's just home Happy McSlappy Slahafferson-Jones isn't a - miss, am I right? [GRIN.]

[Action]

[all7seas]

He were a very fierce pirate, lad--once bit a man's eye right out of the socket. Like a marshmallow. Welshman.

[Action]

[markofthewise]

Well I don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon, so don't worry.

[Action]

[all7seas]

OI! NEVER INTERRUPT THE TALE OF HAPPY MCSLAPPY SLAHAFFERSON-JONES! EVER!

Terrible bad luck to do that. Now where was I? OH. Happy McSlappy Slahafferson-Jones were in the habit of eating eyes like marshmallows and his crew decided they had to do something to correct Happy McSlappy Slahafferson-Jones's eyes-eaten-like-marshmallows habit.

[Action]

[markofthewise]

[Um. Okay. Sokka just gives a nod at that.]

[Action]

[all7seas]

So one night when Happy McSlappy Slahaferson-Jones were SLEEPIN'? They took him in the longboat and rowed to a mystic sea cave, where lay in wait a crone, what knew how to deal with the marshmallow-eating likes of Happy McSlappy Slahafferson-Jones, and all troublesome Welshmen before or since!

[Action]

[markofthewise]

[Okay, okay... interesting. He raises his hand to ask a question.]

[Action]

[all7seas]

Ah, yes, you in the front, lad, with the remarkably unsettling eyes--you have a question regarding the fate of Happy McSlappy Slahafferson-Jones?

[Action]

[markofthewise]

Uh, yeah. [He puts his hand down.] What's wrong with Welshmen?

[Action]

[all7seas]

[Action]

[markofthewise]

... right, right. No interruptions. Sorry.

[Action] 1/?

[all7seas]

Now where were we?

2

[all7seas]

AH, yes. They rowed to the stone home of the old crone, weary to the bone, the giant pirate lying in the stern of the longboat. Noting the low slope of stony coping cooping up the witch, they ditched the pitching boat and took the slow road over the bony growths of coral and lichen, not likin' it at all.

Slippery stuff, that.

3

[all7seas]

The homely crone knew the crew's newest and most dearest wish, a fishwife sworn to answer the calls of men what wanted neither gems nor gold nor cold folded molten steel, savvy? She changed hearts. It's what she did, swapping one for another.

4

[all7seas]

So the crew knew trouble would brew if they didn't get Happy McSlappy Slahafferson-Jones into the crone's home right quick, afore he awoke and ate their eyes! They crept in like mice, right up to the old wife's table, able bodied men that they were!

"OH CRONE! OH CRONE, GIVE HAPPY MCSLAPPY SLAHAFFERSON-JONES A NEW HEART, EH? FOR US. PLAY ONE FOR THE PEOPLE."

Cinco

[all7seas]

"AH, gentlemen, what's this? An eye-eater? I've a cure for that!" And the crone reached clear through Jones's bones and pulled out his throbbing article. It were black and tar-covered, much like the marshmallow you leave in the fire five seconds too long.

This she ate, promptly, commenting wantonly that it were a tad sweet for her liking.

Then, in its stead, she did embed a big red healthy glowing heart of happiness and love, with ventricles like a cherub's bottom.

6/done

[all7seas]

And when he awoke, hours later on the pitching ship, slippery with dripping gore, that strapping eye-eating Slahafferson-Jones looked about in wonder! The world were bright and new and shiny and clean! And in gratitude for the cleanliness and brightness of it all, Happy McSlappy Slahafferson-Jones went out, and went forth, and loved. Whether people wanted it or not. A giant doe-eyed bastard what formerly ate men's eyes for want of anything better to occupy himself with.

[markofthewise]

[Sokka is silent for almost a minute to be sure Jack is done telling the story. When he's sure it's done, he grins.]

That was a great story, Jack! I felt like I was actually there, with all of those other pirates, during the whole thing. You really know how to tell a story.

[Missed the point entirely? You betcha.]

[all7seas]

Right.

...

Want to get drunk? My head hurts a bit.

[markofthewise]

I don't think I'm supposed to get drunk. But I could get a soda!

[all7seas]

I'll get drunk for the both of us, then. Onward. [And whether Sokka follows or not, Jack is heading to Good Spirits.]

[markofthewise]

Good plan, captain. [And he doesn't even say it sarcastically, he just follows into step.]