markofthewise | Sokka the 78th

[After ditching Ed in the tunnels, Sokka has had some thinking to do. He's lost Suki and now he's lost Edward. His relationship with other people has seemed strained too. When it comes down to it, he doesn't particularly feel bad about this, but he is worried about ending up alone. Being alone is bad. But then, so is the life he had before. Well, if the journals are good for one thing, it's for sorting out dilemmas without giving yourself away. So he heads to the journal, disguises his handwriting, and asks:]

[Written (Disguised)]

If you were changed in a way that made you happier, but pushed other people away, would it be worth staying that way? I mean, it's not worth it to make yourself miserable just for the sake of other people, right? That'd be ridiculous.

[Yeah. Totally ridiculous. That was stupid of him to even ask. He stares at the page, shakes his head, and pushes it away. Later he'll reply to it, but for now, he decides to do work instead of wallowing in pointless contemplation.

For people who might want Sokka in person, he's up to his usual routine.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well. Okay then. Sokka turns around and frowns at Winry.]

Please, by all means, come in. Make yourself comfortable.

Maybe I will because you seem to be doing the same no matter what the consequences.

[Sokka went to the door and opened it again.]

I'm not interested in a lecture.

[She stays firmly planted where she is.]

Well I guess that's too bad. Someone has to give it to you.

Edited 2013-04-25 03:01 (UTC)

[He narrows his eyes and considers how easy it would be to just throw her out and lock the door behind him. But logically he knows that will make it worse. Walking out won't help either.]

Fine, let's get it over with.

[He walks to the couch, plops down, and puts his feet up.]

[Winry folds her arms under her chest before she begins. Decidedly she'll continue to stand.]

So tell me, Sokka. What in the hell is up with you? You're not a jerk anymore, you're an asshole. You don't seem to consider anyone's feelings at all, and you've become completely selfish.

[Where did her friend go? Where was the boy she laughed with, and the man she respected? He's not here.]

[He leans back, arms crossed and eyes closed, taking it in stride.]

What do want me to tell you, Winry? You're wrong. I still care about people. I care about you. I may not be in the mood to hear you rant, but nobody likes being lectured. But since you're talking about feelings, have you thought about what mine are?

Oh, I think I have an idea. So is that it, Sokka? Do you just feel so bad that you have to make other people feel bad? That you have to be insensitive to other people to the point where you hurt them? So they feel as bad as you?

[Her hands unfold from under her chest, and instead rest on her hips.]
Or maybe just not caring about how your actions affect others is easier? Thinking about yourself is easier, so just forget about any problems it causes other people.

[For a moment, he considers playing the part of the downtrodden guy. Act like she's gotten through to him. But then, when it comes down to it, Winry is expendable. She has some useful skills, but while she may be more mechanically gifted than he is, he's learned enough to not need to rely on her anymore. She's also dating Ed, so this was probably not going to last anyway.

And of course he never had a shot with her. Frankly he'd have been better off ditching her years ago when she hooked up with Haruki. It was pathetic, in retrospect, how long he stuck around after that.]

You're right. It is easier. As it just so happens, I'm not exactly concerned with how you feel or think about it. So you're wasting your time here.

[Winry is caught speechless in a mix of feelings. Undeniable rage is swirling within the sting of the truth, disappointment, and shock. He doesn't deny it. He doesn't care. Her wide eyes stare at him, and tears of pain and rage well up.]

S-Sokka, you...

[Her hands drop to her sides so she can make fists again. Her body tenses up, and she winces her eyes shut as she yells at him.]

What the hell!? You're not Sokka! Where the hell did he go!? Who even likes "this Sokka"!? And what about that girl you kissed? Are you just going to throw her away like trash when you're done with her? Is that how it's going to be with everyone? You'll have no one left!

[Hot tears stream shamelessly down her face.]

[Boy oh boy is he glad to be home alone right now. This would get so much more tedious if someone came out right now. Although Foo Foo, who had been piddling about in the kitchen, suddenly whimpers a bit and hides. He's not quite used to this level of volume in the house.]

Is that what this is about? I'm sorry that you're upset about what happened to me and Suki. But me and Suki stopped being a thing over a year ago. When she left and went home. Me and the new Suki tried to make things work. It didn't happen. I moved on. End of story.

Moving on would be more plausible if- [She tries her best to keep her voice from wavering.]

If there weren't other factors! I'm sorry you guys didn't work out, but this isn't how you handle it! You're different Sokka! You're not you! I see it, Raven sees it, I'm sure Hiccup does too! Don't try-
Don't try and act like I'm just upset because you and Suki aren't together, because you know I'd support you. The real you!

[Sokka stands up.]

I'm tired of this real you that keeps getting thrown around. The real me stays in my world, he doesn't do anything noteworthy, he never does anything on his own effort. The best he ever gets is a spot managing a city his friends started. The real me forgets everything that happened to him in Luceti, which happens to include this same conversation. The real me ends up a useless buffoon that nobody will remember or care about.

[He goes to the door again.]

Well that Sokka is gone. This is what's left. If you don't like it, here's the door.

[Tears continue to roll down Winry's cheeks, but her posture eases a bit. Her eyebrows are still furrowed from being upset, but she won't be screaming anymore. At the moment she won't be making for the door either. Not yet.]

If that's how you view him, then you don't know his real worth. And if you can't see that then it's no wonder why you think this route is better.
[You are so blind to what matters. Winry will start to turn for the door now, and slowly make her leave if her doesn't stop her.]

[He won't stop her. In fact, he watches her coldly, saying nothing in return. When she finally does leave, he slams the door behind her.

The real worth of the old Sokka? Someone who got himself killed saving a bunch of strangers who were far less useful and capable than he was. If there's any regrets in this conversation, it's that he couldn't throw that in her face.

But he can't risk them knowing about his penalty. Not when there's a way for them to fix it.]

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