Sokka the 73rd - [Action/Voice]

[markofthewise]

[The house was demolished. And apparently it didn't have the decency to start putting itself together again. Not to mention the whole town was soggy. Most of Sokka's stuff in his room had been damaged. Some of it was salvageable, much of it he had to just throw out. His important valuables were in the basement and though there was a few inches of water down there, his stuff was up high and out of reach. Still, another mess to clean. At least there were two waterbenders in the house to clean that up. For a lover of stuff, Sokka was pretty put out by it. He hadn't been able to sleep in his room because of it. In a way though, he couldn't be upset. It felt right. Like starting over.

And then there was the smithy. Or what was left of it. The whole thing was rubble now. He wasn't even sure if there was a point in trying to pick through it. Best to wait until the Malnosso fixed it, right? It was freeing up his schedule considerably, anyway. At least he was back to his normal practice schedule in the mornings. Even if two straight weeks of combat had left him... weary of it, to say the least. All the same. He found himself to be glad to be back in Luceti. Back in the library, studying his alchemy. Sure, he lost all his notes and would have to start over, but it would be easier since he already knew what needed to be done again. Still. There was so much to go over.]

A guy can't leave for a few weeks without the town getting demolished, huh? Anyway. So uh. A lot of stuff has happened this past week. If anyone wants to, you know, spare some of the good details? I'll be around. Interested. And if you want? I can tell you all about space. Which was pretty great.

[Very around. Like hanging out in the plaza around. No smithy kind of leaves him with no daytime hangout spot. Especially without Suki to spend time with. So besides his training and time at the library, he's very much a man with nothing to do. Evidenced by the fact he's sitting at a bench near the fountain, lazily sprawled out as he counts his one hundredth consecutive hit on a paddle ball. It's uncanny how good he actually is with it.]

Comments

...perhaps he should be grateful.

[herotypical]

She shook her head.

"Mm. No. There was definitely something. Warmth. Love. Finality. I'd never felt so...complete." Oh. That sounded dreary. But Buffy rushed to clarify: "We have this notion, back home. About the afterlife and the different places you could end up.

Heaven is one of those places. I think I was in Heaven."

Torn out of there.

where death is cheaper than in luceti

[markofthewise]

"Heaven." It was a word he hadn't previously associated with the afterlife. He wasn't sure what happened in his own world. The Avatar cycle was obvious. There were some beliefs in reincarnation, from one life to the next. Or managing to exist in some form as a lesser spirit. But what she described sounded nice.

And it occurred to him how terrible it must be to lose that.

"Coming back must have been hard."

amazingly.

[herotypical]

She'd been so honest thus far. Why stop now?

"It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, Sokka. Everyone just wanted me to be so happy to be back and I...couldn't even figure out how to feel, yet. Dawnie took it the hardest. I --"

She hadn't known how to be there for her sister. She didn't know what to live for. She'd gone down dark roads just aching for some sort of sensation. She just wanted to feel...

"I didn't feel very alive. Not for a long time after."

But she didn't want the tale to be all doom and gloom, so: "I got better. I mean -- I'm better, now. Honestly. So what if you don't ever really get over dying? You don't have to get over it to learn how to live again, I guess."

[markofthewise]

Her honesty made him feel a tad guilty. Katara had told him he should tell the others. Aang, Toph, and Zuko. He still wasn't sure he would tell them. Even if Aang had gone through something similar, it was a difficult subject to share. But she was right. Learn how to live again.

Because you never get over it.

"Living's all we can do. But she must have been happy. Having her sister back."

[herotypical]

Pleased for the distraction, she finished off the doughnut. The sugar was a godsend, right now. It soothed some of her rattled senses. An artificial calm but God -- she would take it.

"It can't have been easy for her. Losing a sister a few months after losing mom." But Buffy had known that she would be in good hands. That had made the decision a little less weighty.

"Don't get me wrong -- I'm...really grateful for the opportunity to watch her grow up into the troublesome young woman she's become. And if I go home, I know I'll make the most of what I've been given."

But the hardest thing to do in this world...

"You've got a sister. You know how it is."

[markofthewise]

Dawn. She had lost her mother. And then her sister. Alone in the world. His insides wrenched at the thought that he almost did that to Katara.

"I do. She does. I-" He hesitated, realizing he was about to admit to it. It felt like a ghastly crime. A horrible sin he had committed and was trying to keep to himself, because how it hurt him and how it would hurt others. But he continued, his voice wavering just above a whisper. "I almost did it to her. I mean... I did. For an instant."

[herotypical]

Oh. That knocked Buffy straight out of her carefully tended stability. The story of her death and return wasn't one she told often but it had bee told often enough to allow her a bit of emotionlessness. A bit of a façade as she imparted details. It made her look cold but...

But she hadn't felt prepared to hear the same taut terror in Sokka's voice. With an intimate knowledge of how painful it was to be faced with the possibility of abandoning a loved one.

She dropped the locket. The General -- his blood craft -- and the Commandant seemed so far away. So what if they had a seriously dysfunctional lovers' tiff? Family, she knew, was more important. Always. And to lose part of that family -- even for an instant...?

"Something happened. On the draft? Sokka..."

Tell me.

[markofthewise]

"I did it." It was what it made it worse. His life wasn't stolen from him. That, at least, would've made him a victim. And he could be happy about being saved. But it had been a mistake. An accidental sacrifice.

"There were kids. We were chased in a building. I couldn't stop her, so..." He reached up again, clutching the fabric over his heart. "I used the electricity in the building. I did it before once. It had been fine, and it worked. But. There was too much of it. I-"

A pause as he breathed, looking away to try and hide some of the pain evident. "I was stupid."

[herotypical]

"Electrocuted."

While she'd only suffered a few shocks in her time, she understood that electricity could be debilitating even to a Slayer. And the havoc it played on the heart...

Once again, she glanced at his chest. "But you didn't stay electrocuted." Otherwise, he wouldn't be here right now. But it can't have been a simple case of not-death, else Sokka wouldn't have reacted like this.

[markofthewise]

"I was brought out of it. Lightning." A sort of bitter smile appeared saying that. How ironic, being brought back from that by someone who called herself out of it. "It hurt. And I could barely stand. But. I came back. I was only gone for a minute."

[herotypical]

It took her a moment to understand that Sokka meant the woman and not the weather. Hah. She, too, could appreciate the coincidence -- wry as it might be.

"A minute's all it takes."

[markofthewise]

"It could have been forever." Or a week. He knew death meant less here. But he also didn't trust it. Even with a safety net underneath, you don't fool around on a tight rope.

[herotypical]

But it wasn't. Could have been forever, but it wasn't. Buffy knew she didn't have to tell him that.

"...Look at it this way, you cheated death even by Luceti's very loose and very cheat-y standards."

[markofthewise]

"Yeah. No penalty. I know."

It didn't help.

[herotypical]

"...Does she know?"

Buffy didn't need to name her.

[markofthewise]

He nodded. "I told her earlier."

She cried so much. And he couldn't stop himself from doing the same.

[herotypical]

"Good."

Buffy picked doughnut crumbs off her blanket. "Not that it's...not that it must've been easy. Just -- telling her was probably the right thing to do, in the end. That's the sort of secret that can eat someone up from the inside if it's not told.

[markofthewise]

"She thinks I should tell the others."

But. It was written all over his face how much he didn't want to do that.

[herotypical]

Buffy respected Katara. She was slowly growing to care for Katara in the same way she might care for her other girls, back at the castle. But Buffy suspected that Katara didn't have the requisite experience to understand how delicate it was to explain a death to another person -- especially when that other person lacked the requisite experience to truly empathize with a dead man (or woman) walking.

"Maybe...maybe telling her was enough," she suggested -- careful not to include herself in that enoughness. Like back on the battlefield, this conversation left them as confidants in the same shared secret. Not as helper and helpee.

[markofthewise]

"Maybe." He decided to eat a doughnut instead. It was something else to think about. Chewing. Mulling. Tasting. And discovering a cream filled center. "I like the fruit filled ones better."

[herotypical]

Mm. They're usually the favourites. They always went fast on research nights...

Sokka? Can I offer you some advice?"

[markofthewise]

He nodded, mouth still full.

[herotypical]

"You don't have to plan on telling them. Or anyone. Katara was your priority; you told her. Gold star. But everyone else...don't force it. If you grab someone's attention to try and tell them "oh, by the by, I died and that was a thing that happened"? You'll choke yourself up.

It'll happen on its own."

[markofthewise]

She was right, of course. It had just happened here. He certainly didn't plan to tell Buffy. Not before anyone else. But she understood. And that had been important.

"I guess I don't need to tell you not to tell anyone, then."

[herotypical]

"Not even Jack," she promised. It was a solemn oath indeed, given how often she and the pirate made conversation topics out of the village's other inhabitants. Sometimes, she talked about other people just to avoid talking about herself.

But in this case? On this subject? "You have my word."